Packing & Downsizing
Our Story
Selling mom’s house was never going to be easy, but I had no idea just how emotionally and physically exhausting the process would become. It wasn’t just about finding the right buyer or getting the best price, it was about navigating my mom’s ever-changing feelings about wanting to move, and the long, frustrating search for a realtor who truly understood what we needed.
At first, I didn’t want to rush mom, I thought it was best to give her time to heal, to process, to just be.
But I also knew we couldn’t wait forever. She needed care, consistency, and a living situation that truly supported her. Meanwhile, my own life was becoming more and more difficult to juggle. The constant weekend trips to mom's house (2 1/2- 3 hour drive) were wearing me down, putting a strain on my family, and making it harder to manage work.
The thought of letting go of her home, with all its memories, was overwhelming for both of us. When I finally decided it was time to take the next step, I quickly realized that the process wouldn’t be straightforward.
Adding to the challenge was the difficulty of finding the right realtor. I wasn’t just looking for someone to list the house and get a deal done, I’m a realtor so I was most definitely pickier than most sellers might have been.
We really needed someone who understood the delicate situation we were in. This wasn’t just a sale; it was a transition filled with emotions, memories, and hesitation. I met with several agents, but many of them just didn’t get it. Some were too pushy, eager to get the listing without taking the time to understand mom’s fears. Others were too distant, treating the sale like any other business transaction. I needed someone with patience, kindness, and the ability to guide us through this without making my mom feel like she was being forced into a decision.
After what felt like an endless search, I finally found the right person, a young woman affiliated with my firm, Sothebys International Realty. She was understanding, adorable, warm, and, most importantly, patient.
Having the right realtor in place didn’t suddenly make things easy, but it did make them manageable. With her help, I was finally able to get my mom to a point where she felt more at peace with the decision. The emotional rollercoaster wasn’t over, but at least now, I had someone by my side who could help guide us through it.
The packing process was grueling physically, mentally, and emotionally. Every room held decades of memories, and every item seemed to carry some sentimental weight for my mom. What could have been a straightforward task of sorting and boxing quickly turned into a long, exhausting negotiation.
At times during this process I thought maybe I could just box up certain items I knew might take a long winded negotiation, but then I’d get this nagging guilt, I just couldn’t do it, so ultimately this process took multiple weekends to finish, and mom was able to be heard, isn’t that what we all want?
We continued to go back and forth over what she would keep, what she would donate, and what she would let go of. But in her mind, almost everything had value, every dish, every book, every piece of furniture had a story. I did love to hear the stories of where certain pieces came from and how long they had been in our family, one of the antique dressers, over 100 years old now sits in my den and I absolutely love looking at it, I even kept the two framed pictures of my grandmother on top.
After weeks of sorting, arguing, repacking, and making difficult decisions, the house was finally packed up and ready to go. I had taped up every last box, sealed up every memory, and somehow managed to get everything ready for the move to Asheville. It was a strange feeling both relief and exhaustion, mixed with the unknown of what this move would hold for both of us.
Mom, of course, was still holding onto as much control as she could. One of her biggest non-negotiables was bringing her car. No matter how many times I suggested that she wouldn’t need it in Asheville, that I would be there to take her wherever she needed to go, she wouldn’t hear it. “I may want to drive somewhere, I don’t want to be stuck at home, ughh, ok fine mom.”The car was coming, no question about it, 91 years old and as stubborn as ever!
I knew there was no way I’d be comfortable with her driving around a new city. The thought of her navigating unfamiliar roads, dealing with traffic, or even just trying to park in a busy area made me sick to my stomach. But fighting her on it wasn’t worth the battle. So, my husband stepped in to help. He drove down to take her car back himself, a compromise that at least kept mom from having to drive it there on her own, a complete impossibility.
*TIPS Call a few moving companies, read all reviews, to compare pricing and services. You may want to pack everything yourself to save money or pack some of it and allow the moving company to pack say the dishes and glasses. Make sure you ask if they supply tape and extra boxes if you by chance need them. When moving across country or to another state make sure the moving company has out of state insurance (they should have insurance in any case), and get an accurate date and time when the company will be arriving at your destination, so you wont be stuck waiting for them, or them for you.
We found a local Knoxville company that handled the sale of Mom's furniture and other belongings she wasn't taking with her after her move. While she didn't make a significant amount, it's definitely an option worth exploring if you find yourselves in a similar situation.
